Goodbye to Tough Cookies!

So here it is: the last post of Tough Cookies: Hintonburg Style!

After almost six years, writing posts once a week, without fail, it just feels like the right time to put my "pen" down. And maybe part of the reason that I feel that way is that today was Margot's Grade 6 graduation day.

It was certainty a day of high emotions. When Margot first entered the ceremony room wearing high heels (that she chose), her fancy new dress (also her), and full of confidence, I couldn't stop smiling. Later on, seeing her walk on stage to accept her little diploma, definitely pulled on the heartstrings a bit.

As a nice bonus she won the Prix D'Excellence (tied with two other kids but we'll forget about those jokers!), which is super cool as it not only recognizes her marks but her genuine kindness towards other children in her class.

She's come a long way since she started École Saint-François-d'Assise, that Margot.

• Grade One: getting over the shock and worry of a brand new school;
• Grade Two: sharing her laughter on our weekly Daddy-Daughter dates;
• Grade Three: developing big emotions faster than I anticipated;
  
• Grade Four: banding together as a family to keep learning even when stuck at home; 
• Grade Five: taking her horseback riding passion to the next level;
  
• Grade Six: proving nothing will stop her from doing her homework because it matters to her.

Our lives here in Hintonburg has involved many things other than school of course: travelling; fluffy cats; renovations; and a little global pandemic. But looking back on the past six years I think helping Margot along on her journey, with Glosette Girl of course, is something I'll cherish the most. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to be a real father to her, and not one who just checks in when it's convenient.

I hope I've given you a sense as to what it's like to be a dad living in this little corner of the world. I'm not sure what exactly the next years will hold, but I'm excited to see what happens next. If they were anything like the past six, they will be tough yet fun. They will have tears and laughter. But, no matter what, they will always be honest and heartfelt. 

The End.

Parenting... it's just Getting Started

The weather around here has been gorgeous lately; sunny days, blue skies, and cool breezes - what more could you ask for?

So yesterday Glosette Girl, Margot and I headed off to Dow's lake to take full advantage. It's one of our regular walking trails/hang out spots, along with the Arboretum, where we can enjoy a bit of fresh air, without driving more than a few minutes away.

...Well, Glosette Girl and I took advantage. Margot was in a bit of a grumpy mood and didn't really want to go. At the same time, she didn't really want to stay at our house either. She didn't really know what she wanted. That's sortof a regular theme these days, which I suppose is to be expected now that she is 12 years young.

At Dow's lake Glosette Girl and I were hoping to settle by the water, read, and just soak up the atmosphere. In the end though, we ended up sitting behind a bush without any view of anything particularly interesting as I think Margot felt that was the next best thing to sitting at home.

What we were hoping to do...

I was a little perturbed by Margot's attitude and towards the end of the time at Dow's Lake decided I would walk home (about 25 minutes away). But guess who joined me? MARGOT! I think she just wanted to extend an olive branch and spend time with me. We ended up walking up Preston Street hand-in-hand while she lightened up and regaled me with stories about who-likes-who in her class. It was a surreal, but perhaps to be expected, change of mood that I thoroughly enjoyed.

As I prepare to wind this blog down (this will be my second last post) I'm starting to think that the challenges of parenting are just getting started. Long gone are the days of Daddy being a hero simply for showing up. Now comes the hard part of helping someone along who may feel lost in the world even though they don't know why. I think (I hope) I can be the kind of parent who makes things better. One thing is for certain though, it is going to take patience and empathy.

Sweet Cheat Treats

Sometimes I am in awe of how creative children can be. Take Margot for instance. Lately she's been doing a lot of assignments that require her to film a video about a particular topic. I'm pretty sure that the teacher would be satisfied with a basic presentation that explains the subject matter in a clear and concise way. In some cases, the subject matter is actually even irrelevant as what is being graded is the grammar and ability to explain complex ideas clearly. Again, you don't need to come up with anything too fancy to do that.

But little Margot - wow she always wants to go the extra mile for Madame (her teacher). Check out what she did for her latest English project entitled "Sweet Cheat Treats":

Pretty good! Amazingly she put this all together in one evening (Glosette Girl and yours truly helped with the filming).

There is something poetic (beyond the obvious poetry!) about how she did that assignment. I can't quite put my finger on it but I think it's a result of her being completely bilingual. She just explains things in a way that isn't quite how someone who is purely anglophone would do it. 

But I like it! Get me some of those Sweet Cheat Treats!

Guest Post: Day in the Life of Margot

When the world feels heavy with conflict, sometime its nice to remind yourself what it's like to see the world through the eyes of a kid. Here's Margot narrating a tour of our house or as she calls it "A Day in the Life of Margot":

 

 

I didn't plan this video by the way - it just showed up in my cellphone one day and I decided to share it! But I love these candid portrayals into Margot's mind. It's moments like these when I say: thank goodness for ubiquitous cameras! I'm smiling now as I see Margot narrate what she thinks is important about our house and in 25 years when I look back at this I'm sure I'll still be smiling.

The Soft Food Club

Introducing...Margot...the latest member of the braces club!

It took a little longer to schedule an appointment to install them then I first anticipated, as we ended up going with an orthodontist who is a bit further away from our neighbourhood but who had a great bedside manner and rapport (which Glosette Girl liked) and a lower fee (which I liked) but we got there in the end.

A challenge that I didn't anticipate was that Margot's teeth have been a bit sore this past week so she can only eat soft foods. I had braces when I was a kid but I had no recollection of this (all I could remember was the "no bubblegum" rule!). That means: no meat (too chewy), chips or nuts (too tough), or even lots of fresh fruit, like apples (too crunchy). So she doesn't feel left out we're all eating the same thing. 

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I had some dental surgery last week and I'm pretty much on the same diet as Margot. 

Panda examining the braces to make they are installed correctly

She's slowly getting to the point where she can start chewing again but mostly we've been eating a lot of coleslaws and finely chopped prepared salads (couscous salads, etc.), scrambled or soft boiled eggs, pudding, milkshakes, smoothies, jello and soups. Yummy stuff but it's going to be a great day when I can tuck into a juicy steak again!

The Last One on the List

So we ended up scoring a last minute COVID vaccine for Margot yesterday. We had planned to get it a week from now but our plans had to change and so, on a whim, I checked to see if there were any spots available and there were! So off we went and by 6 pm it was all done.

The entire experience felt so different in comparison to when I got vaccinated back in the spring. Back then, everyone was scrambling for vaccines and scouring the Internet for pharmacies that had extra shots to give away. I remember waiting by my computer so I could book my timeslot as soon as I was eligible.

This time, the announcement was made with a lot less fanfare and, like I said, it wasn't hard to make a same day booking. I guess getting shots is just another part of life now.

Margot was a real trooper though. She showed no fear (even if was scared on the inside a bit) and responded clearly to the nurse's questions. She was also really patient as we waited for the 15 minutes post-shot period to elapse to ensure she didn't have any side affects. Luckily, Monsieur Cell Phone was on hand to keep us amused!

"That's the Needle?!"

Margot is the last person (along with my nieces and nephew of course!) in my immediate circle to be vaccinated. Once she's fully up to speed the pandemic is going to feel a lot more abstract.  I guess that's a good problem!

OK she's not that keen - I made her pose!

We're All in this Together

OK this blog isn't supposed to be just about Margot but she is a huge part of my life so it's hard to avoid her - especially when she does all these brave things.

And when I say brave, I mean brave! Margot has been onstage more times in her short little life than I have in my 40 plus years!

What's Margot done?

Well, she's been in horse show competitions, choir shows, cross-country races, and dance shows (at private camps and at school). She's even tried out for the Nutcraker! When I was eleven I remember it being a nerve wracking experience to make a phone order for a pizza. And here she is trying out for a national ballet!

The funny thing is that we don't push her to do all this stuff. Since she was a little girl our only goal has been to expose her to a couple of activities at a time, and if she's not enjoying herself, to move on. Many of these activities have year end shows and Margot always seems to have a great time preparing for them. 

The latest one? Musical Theatre! 

 In addition to horseback riding, her only other activity right now is musical theatre with SOPAC, which offers musical training and education for all skill levels. This past weekend Margot performed We're All in this Together as part of a global event celebrating local theatre. Most of the performers were actually adults so it was really brave of Margot to get onstage and perform with her little troupe.

 

I wonder if part of the reason Margot is so brave is because she's an only child? She just always seems to be open to meeting new people and interacting with them. Regardless of the reason, I feel like a pleasantly bemused witness to her inner spirit. What will she do next?

 

Maplewood In-House Horse Show

Margot's love of horses shows no signs of abating. It's hard to believe that she only started horseback riding a couple of years ago after we cast around for a new extra-curricular activity after trying a few others. And now look at her!

Recently, she competed in her first ever equestrian competition at her new stables, Maplewood Equestrian Centre*. She was nervous, but determined, to do well.

I wasn't quite sure how she would fare, but ever since the spring, when she rocket-powered her abilities with a month of intense lessons, I've been reasonably confident that she can hold her own.

And boy did she ever! She was in two different horseback events at the intermediate-one level: dressage (an event where you have to demonstrate the control of the horse in a stylish way) and "Hunter" (a form of jumping) and won the "Reserve Champion" award, which is 2nd place! In getting 2nd place she actually won two individual events, which made her day. 

The next Charlotte Dujardin

I must admit, seeing her happy surprised smile when she won those two individual events put me in a great mood. There's few things better than seeing your child succeed in something they enjoy. What I loved most was that she was gracious and kind to the other competitors. There was one girl who wasn't having the best day and Margot was grateful that in one event that girl beat her as it would cheer the other girl up. 

Take a bow, my girl!

Horseback riding is definitely bringing out some nice qualities in Margot: 

• patience, to work with animals, 
• discipline, to keep working to improve herself; and 
• confidence, to deal with adversity (her horse in the dressage event bucked twice - it was quite scary!)

No matter how far she goes with all this, I know she is making wonderful memories. I'm so happy to be able just to be along for the ride.

* she also goes to Wesley Clover Stables.

Grade Six: the Next Level of Homework

The last couple of years have been pretty easy for Margot homework-wise. She gets assigned a few Netmath problems; a bit of reading; maybe she gets asked to create a Powerpoint presentation. All in all, nothing too hard. With COVID, I had the impression that teachers were just treading water as they tried to keep kids under control. When you spend a third of the class explaining to the class how Googledocs works, it doesn't exactly suggest you're on the path to advanced learning.

This year, I swear it feels like Margot's teacher is stepping it up a notch to make up for lost time. Almost every day since school has started Margot has been doing homework.

It's gotten so bad that pretty much every waking moment she has that's not occupied with horseback riding she's hitting the books. There's barely anytime for Harry Potter anymore!

It's actually pretty stressful because Margot takes her homework very seriously. While it's great that we don't have to force her to learn, she has a tendency to get discouraged far too easily when she can't figure out a problem right away. It doesn't help that because Margot goes to a French school it sometimes takes me a little bit of time to figure out what a question is asking.

Workin' 9 to 5

Glosette Girl and I are still trying our best to find the right balance between being diligent and being calm but I don't think we've landed on it quite yet. I am not looking forward to high school...or worse, university!

It's Tough to be a Kid

Yesterday, I took Margot to see a local orthodontist. We've known she's needed braces for sometime, and have visited the orthodontist before, but this was the last appointment before actually starting installing the braces on her.

The orthodontist laid out the information in a very matter-of-fact way: metal braces; two years, on average, for them to be installed; etc. etc.  There wasn't too much room for chit chat. Margot just took everything in stride and listened as I asked follow up questions. However, after the appointment, once we were outside and walking home, she stormed ahead and then burst into tears. It was heartbreaking. 

I remember when I had braces installed when I was a kid. Worse - I had to get glasses at the same time. I still remember praying to God asking to have all this just go away. I remember praying for better vision and teeth! It's still a raw memory even after all these years.

So my heart went out to little Margot. I just wanted to be there for her and comfort her.

It's hard to blame Margot for not wanting to put these in her mouth!

Luckily, she is a trooper. By the afternoon she was much better and instead of crying she was resorting to her usual trickery: telling me that she would get braces if I got her something! Honestly, it's a small price to pay and Margot is already ready to get braces installed in return for something special. What that "special" thing is is still a mystery to me! 

We are still shopping around a bit so she's in the clear for a couple more months. But hey, things aren't that bad. According to Margot, if there is one good thing about covid-19 its that she has to wear a mask at school. So no one will see her wearing her "ugly" braces!

10,000 hours of Expertise...give or take

Some have claimed that if you spend 10,000 hours doing anything you'll become an expert in that activity. Although that claim has been questioned by some experts recently, I can definitely see the benefits of hard work and practice in Margot's horseback riding recently.

For most of the third-way lockdown, horseback riding and walking have been the only activities that Margot can do. And as much as I like taking Margot on a good hike, Glosette Girl and I decided to double down on horseback riding for the month of May and increase the amount of times she goes to the tables from once a week to three times a week to make the month much more manageable for Margot's mental health. 

And it's been a great success! 

 

Not only is Margot having the time of her life but her skills have really improved. She's even jumping over some low barriers now, which is something that that I was surprised to see her doing already.

It's actually a miracle that of all the activities we could have put Margot in (at her insistence!), the one she is doing, and the one she loves above all, is the one that's never been completely shut down.

In the moment

Oh to be a child again! When everything is 100% about being in the moment. When life's most pressing problems are about whether your class beats the other class in an in-school competition. 

Maybe I'm remembering my youth through rose tinted glasses, but when I see Margot's enthusiasm for the latest activity her school has thought up to boost spirit I can't help but smile. This week its RED vs. BLUE: half of the school has been arbitrarily assigned to the red team and the other half of the school is on the blue team. Why? Why not?!

Everyday of the week there is an event to get points. On Tuesday, kids received one point for every article of blue they wore. Margot did OK. She got 14 points...

Not bad...

However, with her team, Blue, falling behind on the scoreboard, she stepped up her game today and scored 41 points for every piece of green clothing she wore in honour of St. Patrick's Day!!! 

Much better!

 She even painted her fingernails and toenails green to try and get bonus points. Attagirl!

First time toenail painting!

Hogwarts in Hintonburg!

It's interesting to see how Margot's tastes in books develop as she gets older. When she was very young, the key was picture books; English or french, as long as there were lots of pictures, she devoured them!

More recently, she's into comic books (a.k.a bande dessinées). Her current favourite is Archie but she's also enjoyed the smurfs, studio danse, and one from the 1980s: les 4 as.

I used to read a lot to her when she was younger but there's been a pause for the last two years as her reading ability has improved and she's become more independent. However, recently Margot started to ask a lot of questions about Harry Potter books: "What are the different houses in Harry Potter?", "Is Voldemort scary", "Does Harry like Hermione", "Who is Hermione's first boyfriend?", "When does Harry meet Ginny?" (there are a lot of girlfriend/boyfriend-themed questions).

She's a bit behind her classmates when it comes to that series, as many of them have been reading Harry Potter for a couple of years now. But for whatever reason she showed no desire to jump on the bandwagon...until now.

This past weekend, something triggered in her mind and Margot and I started reading the first Harry Potter  book together. It's a bit of a slog as I have to help her with quite a few words as we go along, but I don't mind. It's a great way for her to improve her English ability, and like how it's an opportunity for us to do some reading together again after our hiatus. 

Chapter one, book one,  done. Only nine hundred chapters to go!

The other bonus is that it gives me a chance to jump back into the world of owl messengers, goblin bankers, Quidditch, the Dursleys and all the magical stuff in that world. It feels like forever ago since Harry Potter was a big deal and it's a fun bit of escapism to start reading it again.

Étoile du Squat

Ah the simple joys of childhood...

This week, Margot was recognized by Télé Quebec as the Étoile du Squat. Squat is a french supervised social media website that does a surprisingly good job at keeping Margot on top of current affairs in a kid-friendly way. It's like a french CBC website for kids. On the site children post comments about hot topics and also have the ability to comment on each other's posts. 

The Internet loves Margot

Well Squat has apparently been paying attention to Margot's posts because she received the award for her polite tone, her positive comments and her kind words towards others. 

Margot was literally BEAMING when she found out she had received the award. To top things off, after Squat announced she was the Étoile du Squat she received 289 comments or posts congratulating her. Of course she had to respond to them all personally!

The only downside is that has to check every morning for new Squat comments!

What a great day to be a squatteuse!

Guest Post: a 10-year old's thoughts

Well, I enjoyed picking Glosette Girl's brain in last week's post, so I thought I would continue the fun with another guest post - this time from Margot's perspective.

First question: "What do you like about your cat, Panda?" (sidebar one: two great joys in Margot's life right now are horses and Panda)

Second question: "What do you like to do after school?" (sidebar two: a bonus of these guest posts is that Margot tells me what's going on in her life without too much pushback. Parent score!)

Third question: "Do you like mornings or evenings better (sidebar three: trick question - evenings during weekdays, mornings on weekends!) 

Fourth question: "What is the square root of 361?"*

Ha fooled you. Bonus Panda question!

* It's 19 if you're curious.

Grade Five...still walkin'

In 2016 I blogged how much I enjoyed walking with Margot to school. Well, four years later I'm still enjoying those walks. Margot is in grade five now and doesn't need me to walk her to school anymore. But she tells me she likes that I walk her...part of the way.

I don't hold her hand as much but I still walk her to the corner of Gladstone and St Francis street, which takes about three minutes. I then give her a hug and let her go on her merry way. It's short but in many ways a much more relaxing routine than it used to be when she was younger. Our mornings used to be a constant battle of Glosette Girl trying (and failing) to brush Margot's hair and get her out the door. It was incredibly stressful.

Now that's all in the past and often she has time to enjoy a little bit of Squat before we leave. Growing up, I remember walking to school with my brother and some local boys who would come over to our house.We were a geeky little crew but we had our fun. It was a rough and tumble start to the day and very different from Margot's experience. 

Sometimes I wish there were some neighbourhood kids around here that Margot could walk to school with. I think she would like that. She's half way there already because after school, she and a gaggle of friends walk home together  But secretly (well, not so secretly since I'm blogging about it), I'm glad I have all to myself in the mornings for just a little longer.

Punch in the Gut for a Lil' Person

It's an anxious time around here (more than normal!) as schools release their back-to-school plans. The biggest unknowns are will Margot be back in school full time (all signs point to yes for the moment) and will she be joined by her friends?

The former is important for me. But the latter is equally important to Margot. Recently she found out that one of her best friends, W, is moving schools far away. That was a real punch in the gut for her because only a couple of days ago another good friend, L, told her she may be doing 100% online learning for awhile.

That really got Margot down and we had a long talk this past weekend about how she met W, and how she was a girl who you didn't have to ask to play with - you could just do it. In contrast, with other girls she doesn't fit in as well. I feel bad for Margot because a couple of years ago a new French public school opened up in the area (Margot goes to French Catholic school) and two of her best friends, E and S, switched schools. 

I don't feel there is much I can do for Margot with this particular problem other than listen. However, we would be willing to switch her to the French public schools as it's pretty close to our house. Margot is a trooper though and wants to continue at SFA for the moment.

The simple days of yesteryear are fast receding in my memories. Remember grade one? What about grade three? Even last year, the problems related to the ritual of back to school shopping seem pretty trivial in comparison to the big feelings Margot is feeling these days. I think she'll be fine. She's a very personable kid and joy always finds her. But it's still tough to hear sometimes.

Coronavirus in Hintonburg: Week Nine - Impro-Birthday

For reasons you can probably guess, this year Glosette Girl and I had to be a bit creative when it came to Margot's birthday. It was a big one too: 10 years old. Double digits!

So despite provincial restrictions preventing us from inviting over Margot's friends over for a get-together, we put our minds together and came up with...

First ever mountain bike experience! Getting into the Spirit of Place!

• First mountain bike experience in newly opened Morris Island conservation area;
• A few random (but socially distant) visits from friends outside our house;
• Margot got to pick dinner. She came up with Green Papaya, a yummy local Thai restaurant;
• A Zoom/Netflix party where Margot and 5 friends got to play Carmen Sandiego: To Steal or Not to Steal, a choose-your-own-adventure style Netflix movie. (Margot shouted out instructins explaining what to do); and perhaps most fun of all...
• Margot's 10th Birthday clue book! Eight clues leading to eight gifts hidden throughout our house.*

There was no order to the clues nor did she have to solve them all at once. But as the day progressed those clues were pretty tempting and by 3 pm she had solved them all and found her gifts.

The "Call Grandma V" clue!

To be honest there was almost too much included in the day's agenda. But I think it hit the right notes. A couple of weeks ago Margot was really down that she wouldn't have a "real" birthday. But she didn't mention that once on her b-day. This is not the "new normal" (I dislike that expression). But I think we were able to pull off a memorable day for a fiesty little girl.

* The clues were: (1) Let's go Biking; (2) Call Uncle J for clue; (3) Pick your favourite game; (4) Call Grandma V; (5) Stuffies have a new friend; (6) A good place to spy; (7) Hit the slopes; (8) Giddy up Horse. Note the clues led to the location of the gifts and sometimes also hinted at the gifts themselves. 

Coronavirus in Hintonburg: Week Four - Maintaining a Schedule for Margot

Being a parent is tough at the best of times. But during a pandemic? Yikes.

As the weeks have dragged on Glosette Girl and I have had to be creative to ensure that Margot isn't bored or worse...scared.  After a couple of disorganized moments at the beginning of this crisis we've come up a decent schedule revolving around four mini "classes" with Glosette Girl and I each giving two classes to Margot per day.

I take care of: English, Math and, amazingly (to me) Music.
Glosette Girl takes care of: French, Social Science and "miscellaneous" Cooking.

Tuesday's schedule

Each class is relatively short, maybe 30-40 minutes. However,  because both Glosette Girl and I work remotely, and are constantly interrupted by  videoconferences and other distractions. So, in practice,   even giving four short classes to her takes pretty much the whole day.

It's fairly modest but we've found that even these four classes, plus giving Margot some time to talk to her friends online, and her normal TV/Netflix schedule (two episodes in the morning and two in the afternoon) has allowed us to keep our sanity without just sticking her in front of Netflix all day. And maintaining a schedule for Margot seems to be helping her maintain a sense of normalcy. We don't teach her on the weekends, which keeps them special for her and for me. Best of all, she still seems to be the same happy go lucky kid I've come to love.

It really is fortunate that Glosette Girl and I have jobs that allow us to work online. I'm getting sick of the day-to-day grind of all this remote work, but I know it could be a lot worse.

Homework Bribery

Being a good dad is a tricky balance.

Take homework. What tactics are you supposed to apply to your kid to get them to do their homework? Fear ("you dont want to fail that test")? Compliments ("I'm so proud of you!")? Patience ("I'm just going to sit here...")? Flattery ("you'll be the smartest kid in class!")? Parental wishful thinking ("homework is fun")? I'm not proud of it, but I often subscribe to a simple solution. Hint: it starts with a "B" and ends with "-ribery".

Haha actually that's a bit of an exhaggeration. It doesn't take that much to get Margot to do her homework. She likes reading so to her that is fun. She does complain about math, but often if I sit down and explain some of "tricks" to solve some of the more complex problems she really gets into it and wants to try them out on new problems. There's a term for when she wants to do extra homework: dad heaven.

But when that doesn't happen I'm not going to lie, I don't have any qualms about slipping a little bribery into the mix to tip the balance into getting her homework done.

Ice cream cone and pencils...nice.

Lately, we've combined completing homework with the daddy-daughter dates we occasionally enjoy. We've done math problems at Stella Luna and practised reading at our local Bridgehead coffee house. It's nice because it gives us something to chat about (not that her regular stories about the trials and trevails of grade four aren't interesting!). And c'mon. It spices up an overwise mundane task! Haha maybe Margot is going to develop a mental association between her multiplication tables and lemon sorbet?!